Geppetto Has Gone High-Tech!

So how come Pinocchio still looks wooden?  

It may be Geppetto (whoever he/she/it may be) hasn’t got all the ticks out of the tech yet.  Maybe they should call Al Gore.

source for image.

Custom Made Frames For Notre Dame Diplomas

Notre Dame Think Tank

According to a post on American Papist, 95 Notre Dame seniors have sent letters regarding the invitation to President Change to appear as the commencment speaker at graduation.  97% of those letter were supportive of the invitation.  Perhaps this photo of the Senior Student Body Think Tank will help explain those numbers.  Be sure to notice the serpet…urrr, I mean  python…urrr, I mean muse getting ready to impart some wisdom.

Rural Humor From Upstate New York

A Contest: Connecticut’s New State Motto

My first entry-Connecticut: A Great Place To Apostatize (a valde locus ut apostatize). OK, so I stink at Latin.

This stands in marked contrast to its original Motto: Qui Transtulit Sustinet.  The English translation has varied slightly down through the years, reading either “He Who Transplanted Still Sustains,” or, “He Who Transplanted Continues to Sustain.”  It is derived from Psalm 79:9 of the Vulgate (80:9 in most modern translation).  In light of recent events in that state I suggest another possible Motto: EGO sero vos a electus vinea tamen vos verto obnoxious volo (see Jeremiah 2:21).

Other suggestions:

Connecticut: Ubi vermis eorum non moritur et ignis non extinguitur (Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not extinquished Mark 9:47).

Connecticut: Your gateway to Hell.

Lasciate Ogni Speranza, Voi Ch’ Entrate (Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here- Dante’s Inferno, Canto III, the signpost at the gates of Hell)

EGO mos non servo (I will not serve.  Satan’s words in Milton’s Paradise Lost)

Also, in light of these events, along with a growing opposition to all things Catholic from marginal Catholics and anti-constitutionalists, I suggest making a Novena to St Joseph, whose feast day is just nine days away.

Please feel free to add you own entry in any language you choose.  The winner will receive a match, five gallons of gasoline, and a bus ticket to the Connecticut State Legislature Building**.

**For entertainment purposes only.

Anxiously Waiting For Open Season On Whiney Swiss Theologians

(Disclaimer: There is no such thing as open season on Swiss Theologians, still, a boy can dream about Kung fool fighting, can’t he)

Father Erik Richtsteig models a Sharps Sportsman Carbine, model 1874. So excellent is the quality of this rifle that with just a little practice even the weekend sportsman will be able to blow a copy of McBrien’s CATHOLICISM out of the hands of a seminarian at 200 yards. So powerful it is capable of bring down the most megalomaniacal of Swiss theologians, no matter how big of mouth and ego. It’s light weight makes for easy carrying as one is tracking down all types of liberal theologians in their natural habitat, be it the hollow halls of a liberal university, or the lobby of any major secular media outlet.

The Result of the UFO Crash in Roswell: The Democrat Party Connection

My sister sent me this via email.  Sorry, I don’t know the original source.

1947

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over  60 years  ago,
witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO)  with aliens aboard
crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell,  New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S.  Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of  April 1948, nine
months after that historic day, the following people were  born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.

Hillary Rodham

John F. Kerry

William J. Clinton

Howard Dean

Nancy Pelosi

Dianne Feinstein

Charles E. Schumer

Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of
things for you.

It did for me.

No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!

Ohhhh, They’ll Be Whining On Hamburger Row

The weekly publication THE ONEIDA FREE PRESS (“the official newspaper of the town of Vienna”) is reporting that students at Oneida High School may soon no longer enjoy off campus lunching.

Oneida City High School is one of the only schools in the area that still allows students to leave school grounds during lunch periods. However, with the expansion of the cafeteria currently underway, this could change-at least for some students, according to Superintendent Ronald Spadafora.

Breaking ground last month, the 8,000 square foot expansion that school officials hope will be completed by the start of the 2009-2010 school year, will allow more students to occupy the cafeteria, leaving less reason for students to leave campus for lunch, unlike the current situation.

My, that is quite a spin job! It leads one to believe that the major reason for off campus lunching is a lack of dining space, when, in reality, the reasons are more gastro-intestinal. THE FOOD STINKS!!! Sure, it may be more healthy and nutritious than a taco or a Whopper, but it’s usually disgusting, except on those rare occasions when it is mercifully nothing more than tasteless.

Another reason given for the possibility of a closed campus lunch is “lots of tragedies,” which have taken place “over the last ten years.”

Huh? What?

A third reason is “[Cutting class is] a temptation we would like to eliminate.” Principal Callagher hopes that the action will cut back on the number of students who face disciplinary action for cutting classes, the cause for 68% of all disciplinary referrals last year.

But what is the actual percentage of classes cut after a lunch period? I dare say it’s much smaller than the percentage of students reporting to the nurse after eating a meal in house. Most of the student body isn’t stupid, and they know that cutting school after lunch will come to light as a result of attendance being taken during afternoon homeroom. And what exactly constitutes “class cutting”? Does it in fact refer to those who skip school entirely? I suspect it does. Further, I find the reference to “disciplinary referrals” rather than disciplinary actions to be rather interesting. How many of those referrals actually amounted to anything? How many of those referrals never panned out and led to disciplinary action? A disciplinary referral could be nothing more than the result of a kid forgetting to bring a note from home explaining his absence, or, the result of the stupid policy that demands a kid have a doctor’s excuse if he has missed three or more days? a policy some families in over-taxed and under-payed Upstate New York have trouble complying with.

And exactly how will establishing a closed campus lunch limit class cutting? Will the school erect a wall of razor ribbon and barbed wire around the campus perimeter? Will they arm the rent-a-cop who patrols the the parking lot and issue him a license to kill?

And if the student body is so prone to cut classes what makes you think that they wont be tempted to cut lunch on Tuesdays when Farmer Jones’ Casserole is on the cafeteria menu? In attempting to “eliminate the temptation of cutting classes” you are merely going to increase the temptation to cut out at lunch to get to hamburger row. And isn’t true that the number of students suffering from bulimia has risen in the past few years? Do you think Monday’s hot dog on a bun with Boston baked beans and a couple of orange wedges is not going to exacerbate the problem?

We’re Having a Heatwave!

After a couple of weeks of rather bitter temperatures it hit a sultry 25 degrees Fahrenheit today, and man! I am sweltering!. But I’m not complaining, rather, I took advantage of our Indian Summer to hit the beach. (I took the above photo a few weeks before Christmas. It is of one of the trees in front of our Parish convent/school. Click on to enlarge)

How To Annoy People In One Easy Lesson

Make the beginning of this song the ring tone for your cell phone.